Rewards and the battery charge

Is it right to allow your child to do the activity they have been harking after when they have been at their worst behaviour?I am in agreement if you have said ‘no’.

Let me put it another way.

What if it means that they are away from the house for the weekend and you have one less screaming child to deal with, which would make your life easier?

Still ‘no’?

Can any other parent relate to what I’ve just said?

We are having some behavioural issues at the moment and it’s not specific to one child.

It might be due to the fact that it’s coming up to the end of the scholastic year and they are tired and they want the break or they need the break and the holidays don’t seem to be coming up fast enough for them.

Could it be that the situation is not aided by the fact that I have two children that cannot fall asleep when there is daylight out?

And trust me when I say that I have taken them to the park for a few hours, they were so tired that they didn’t want to walk home and still…come bed time, they would not fall asleep until it was dark outside.

What makes things worse is that they are up between six and half seven, none of them nap during the day and they are cranky by four in the afternoon.

So, let’s take a look at the picture:

I have a preschooler that will not fall asleep before ten and is up by half six. That is eight hours per night if we are lucky, which is borderline with the last column which recommends ‘no less than…’

Then, there’s the schoolchild that has a similar sleeping pattern, however, she tries to keep her other sisters awake.

Here is where the issue comes in:

Two children who can’t sleep when there is daylight are in bed, they are causing a raucous and talking so much that they keep their other sisters awake who want to sleep.

If I take into consideration that everyone is different and require different amounts of sleep, I shouldn’t worry about the two that can’t sleep.

Which, in a small way, I don’t because they do have a sleep-in every so often, which I guess makes up for their lack of.

It’s the other two I worry about.

They want to sleep and cannot because they are not allowed and when they manage to fall asleep, they tend to get woken up or disturbed in some way or other. They end up waking up tired and cranky in the morning.

I hear you say; why, they should be separated…

I wish I could. It’s harder than expected to move, so whilst we’re stuck in this place, they have to share a room.

Now come the behavioural issues, tired from a long school year, activities and now we have lack of sleep.

Think about yourself as an adult, if you go a few days with little sleep you feel like you are dying, you are moody and God help anyone that looks or says something the wrong way that they’ll have their head bitten off.

We, as adults, have supposedly learnt to control our outbursts….

Yeah, okay. 

Tired is tired.

I don’t know of many things worse than being tired and not catching a break to rest and recharge the batteries.

Now, imagine being of an age where you are not capable of controlling your emotions or express yourself properly, add lack of sleep and some fatigue and try not to explode.

So I now have four screaming children with one of them due to go away for the weekend.

If I was the ‘no nonsense’ parent, she wouldn’t have gone and I would have suffered the miserable face and the looks of recriminations, let’s not forget the tears and tantrums.

Behaviour does not merit reward and blah blah blah….

Why did you have so many kids if you can’t cope and all that.

I heard that so many times, but it’s the hand life has dealt us and we cope, well.

It’s surprising to see how many people compliment us on our family and how well behaved they can be.

This is just a point where us adults, whether we have one or ten children need to feel like ourselves.

Also, we are so weary and tired that the idea of having one less screaming child in the house sounded like a reward to us!

Is that so wrong?

Whilst many people having their child out is considered a break, for us, just one helps us recharge our batteries.

Was it so wrong to send her after all?

Maybe this little break will help the children as well and we can all feel a bit more like our old selves.

Taking tonight for example; the other children went to bed and fell asleep right away. There was no noise from upstairs and checking up on them, they were sound asleep getting their beauty sleep and hopefully they will wake up refreshed

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